Red Rowan the Fierce

So at Thom's work they had a contest to win some super fancy video game. You had to write an essay to the Easter Bunny on why you deserved the game. Thom's WINNING essay is below. Thom worried that they would either think it was really funny or refer him to HR for counseling.

Dear Easter Bunny,

My 16 month old daughter won't leave me alone about getting a copy of God of War II. She's already beaten Call of Duty II three times on Impossible, and is threatening to arrange real melees with the other neighborhood kids, spears, swords and all, if she doesn't get her blood-fix through God of War II soon. The situation is complicated, because I swore to her at a time she was trying to give up gaming altogether, that I would never buy it for her.

So, I'm stuck! And you can save lives! I can't buy her a copy and remain a man of honor (if I reneg on my word, she'll likely push even harder to overthrow me), but if I don't, the neighborhood children will be drilled in the ancient arts of phalanx warfare, and driven against each other for sport. I don't think they understand she means to use unbated blades--but she can be very persuasive.

None of this is your responsibility, of course, but you do have the power to save my honor and the lives and limbs of countless toddlers by sending a copy of God of War II home to Rowan, called the Fierce, or the Red.

Thank you for considering our cause.

Thom